Usually summer is a time for attending weddings, with all the accompanying joy and celebration.
This past summer, we had no wedding invitations. Instead, during my month holiday at our Mayne Island cabin, I went back to Vancouver to attend three funerals (or, more accurately, “memorial services”) – all within one week!
Two were for elderly gentlemen who had been influential in my spiritual formation. Their memorial services recalled their faithful roles in family and faith communities over many years, and fittingly brought words of Christian comfort that they were now in the presence of Jesus.
The third was a non – religious “Celebration of Life”, for a man in his late forties who tragically died in a mistaken targeted shooting. The large crowd gathered together fittingly had tributes to Paul’s faithful contributions as a husband and Dad, to the many hours he gave in coaching boys’ ice-hockey in the community and to his men’s hockey team involvement and also to his outstanding work as a competent and kind OR head nurse. He was the one who welcomed me to Peace Arch Hospital OR in 2009, gave me my first set of scrubs, took me on a tour of the 3 operating rooms and introduced me to surgeons and anaesthetists sitting between cases in their tiny but homey OR lounge. Fond memories were shared and many tears are still being shed in the face of this tragedy.
Attending a funeral or memorial service often makes us remember others from whom we have been parted by death. We may also be prompted to think about one’s own inevitable death, and consequently, about one’s life.
The wise Qoheleth “The Preacher”, had some comments on this subject, many centuries ago:
“ It is better to go to the house of mourning than to go to the house of feasting, for this is the end of all humankind, and the living will lay it to heart.”
“ The heart of the wise is in the house of mourning, but the heart of fools is in the house of mirth.” – Ecclesiastes 7:2, 4
As I’m reading and reflecting on N. T. Wright’s book, Surprised by Hope: Rethinking Heaven, the Resurrection and the Mission of the Church, I have been noting the absence (in most memorial services) of the mention of the hope of Resurrection in the context of God’s plan for the renewal of the whole world.
However, I do recall two significant exceptions and will relate the first in this post.
Five years ago, Debra, a close friend of mine, passed away from breast cancer. We had trained together in hospital chaplaincy way back in 1990. She was only a year older than me, and we bonded closely and had a happy uplifting friendship. At that time, she had recently taken final vows to become a Sister of St. Anne; our group called her “the young nun” 😊 Debra was a nurse by profession and also obtained a Masters in Theological studies. She did pastoral care and capably led spiritual retreats in Victoria. She also painted beautifully; a woman of many talents!
This water colour of banana tree leaves, painted by Debbie, hangs in our bedroom.
While visiting in Debra’s small apartment, I memorized words written in italic pen on a small piece of cream coloured card, mounted on her apartment doorpost as one went out:
“The wise woman is she,
who is too full of joy
to be overcome by trouble.”
Debra was a wise woman.
The photo below was taken at her Silver Jubilee (celebrating 25 years since taking her vows). Debra was already incurably ill and died four months later.
Her memorial service was entitled “Mass of the Resurrection”. There were a few beautiful songs we all sang together- two were based on Psalm 84, one on Psalm 139 , and a Taize song “Jesus, remember me, when you come into your kingdom” and an Iona Community song about the Holy Spirit: “Enemy of Apathy”. There was a very brief and simple mention of Debra’s life.
The main focus of the service was the Mass, the commemoration of Jesus’ death and resurrection, and hope in His expected return, when the new heavens and earth would come into being.
Not being Roman Catholic, I could not participate in receiving the bread and wine, but through words of the liturgy and, in the painful reality of Debra’s absence, I was given such a deep assurance of God’s promise, both of her bodily resurrection and of the new world to come.
I sobbed openly at losing my close friend. I very, very rarely cry in public, and was warmly hugged by one of the sisters with whom I’d connected when staying overnight with Debbie a few months previously; we had helped together bringing her for medical appointments.
That day, Sept 4th, 2013, I decided to have that type of funeral (probably using the Anglican Holy Communion liturgy, which is almost identical). No sappy eulogies, no slide shows. Rather, a simple Eucharist service focusing on the fact of death, yes that I am with Jesus, but also, with real focus on the hope of resurrection for me, in the context of the all encompassing Biblical hope of the coming of the new heavens and the new earth; a world with justice and shalom for all. Isaiah 66:22; Isaiah 65:17; 2 Peter 3:13; Revelation 21:1.
Therefore, we proclaim the mystery of faith: “Christ has died. Christ has risen. Christ will come again.” ( from the Anglican liturgy).
BTW, i do think it is important to gather as family and friends and remember someone recently departed: for that I am drawing up a playlist for a musical and the arts evening – inspired by CBC’s “This is My Music”, it includes children’s songs, hymns, rock, classical and praise music, as well as Israeli folkdance. It’s shaping up to be a long programme!!🎼🎻🎹🥁💃
A couple of years ago, Gary and I watched the movie, The Young Messiah.
https://www.imdb.com/title/tt1002563/ (trailer and credits).
After watching it, I bought and I read the book (already 3 times now!) on which it is based. Anne Rice’s “Christ the Lord: Out of Egypt”, tells a story of the boy Jesus age 7-8. Her historical fictional novel proceeds from very thorough research of scripture, history and tradition.
In an author’s note afterword, Anne Rice ( better known for her Vampire stories), explains her own journey and what compelled her to write this book ( and the sequel: “Christ the Lord: The Road to Cana”). Firstly, she explains that it was the mystery of the survivial of the Jewish people through history that drew her back to God! That caught my attention! As she read to try and understand history, she felt she wanted to write the life of Jesus, beginning with his childhood.
The book sensitively decribes how the boy Jesus slowly becomes aware that, as well as being a human boy, he has divine power. Much energy is expended by Jesus’ family to prevent him from discovering that all the boys under age 2 in the small town of Bethlehem were murdered, basically because of him. The massacre was on the order of King Herod, who did not want a competitor – the Magi who came from the East innocently alerted Herod that there was a great Jewish king born!
1 Now after Jesus was born in Bethlehem of Judea in the days of Herod the king, behold, wise men from the east came to Jerusalem,
2 saying, “Where is he who has been born king of the Jews? For we saw his star when it rose and have come to worship him.”
Matthew 2:1-2
“Then Herod, when he saw that he had been tricked by the wise men [who were warned in a dream not to go back and report to Herod] became furious, and he sent and killed all the male children in Bethlehem and in all that region who were two years old or under, according to the time that he had ascertained from the wise men.” – Matthew 2:16
Spoiler alert: in the book, the boy Jesus does eventually find out and is incapacitated by horror and sorrow. Wow, I do wonder how Jesus handles the pain of knowing how many further murders over the centuries have been commited because of him!
[I do believe there is clear Biblical evidence that God and Jesus do indeed suffer – a topic for another time….but here are a couple of books I want to read to learn more:
Theology of the Pain of God: The First Original Theology From Japan by Kazoh Kitamori
The Suffering of God: An Old Testament Perspective by Terence Fretheim]
In Christ the Lord: Out of Egypt, Rice describes the boy Jesus as he comes to understand that while death for all is inevitable to all born of woman, including for himself, he has also come for a deeper purpose. “ I was sent here to be alive.” ( And to bring that life to all.)
Stay tuned for Autumn Contemplations, Part 2: Resurrection Hope: living with loving boldness, even in the face of death, because of Resurrection hope.
JenniEliz 